~koganemouche

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Oh, life. Sad old news...

Wed Dec 2, 2009, 12:20 PM

I suppose I should post something here, really...

My father passed away at the end of October after what I suppose was in some ways a mercifully brief battle with brain cancer.

I did write a big full-on explanation of what happened, but... I don't really want to post it. He was diagnosed with a brain tumour on August 25th, and passed away peacefully in his sleep at home on the morning of October 26th, with no previous history of illness. They said the tumour could have been growing for maybe even less than five weeks.

I still... can't believe it, and there's probably a hundred things I could say, but I just can't. Not yet, anyway. I loved him so SO much, and I miss him every day. He was a wonderful man, kind, just and fair - he was always generous, and though he could be a little brutal in his honesty at times, it was always with good intentions. He supported me in absolutely everything I've ever wanted to do, and I know I've been a bit wayward at times, but he has always been there for every decision, there to help with advice, or even just to give me the final push to get things done. Life dealt us a cruel hand and took him away from us too soon.

1954 ~ 2009, Aged 55.

You can remember him and only that he is gone
Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on. -- written 1981; David Harkins

21 Comments

Mood: Sadness

10 things and random sap <3

Thu Oct 23, 2008, 10:03 PM

:Tagged by

With our daily lives constantly filled with stress, studying, and work, sometimes its hard to see all the good things that make our lives worth living. Sometimes you really need to stop and smell the roses and see how little pleasures can really benefit your wellbeing - List 10 little ordinary pleasures that always seem to make you smile, why they make you feel good and then tag 5 Or more people!

1. Music. Music has such a profound effect on me - it makes me calm when I'm angry, happy when I'm sad. I don't know where I'd be without my iPod. I LOVE MUSIC. I am a musical sponge @_@ play me a song once and you'll find me humming it not knowing what thehell it is three weeks later XD (I'm gunna include karaoke in this too - singing is another thing I love, and whenever I'm alone, I'm usually found crooning away. XD)

2. Going on a long journey, but knowing you're headed to the arms of somebody you care about. There is nothing, and I mean NOTHING more wonderful than emerging from a plane, or a train in a new place, and to be met by the embrace of a friend. It's oh so very cheesy, but it makes the whole journey feel better. I say this from experience. XD

3. My bed. I love my bed. I miss my bed. >: It's all snuggly and warm and has a big leopard print blanket on it <3

4. Laughing til you can't breathe, over something tiny and ridiculous. Whether it's lewd comments about additional pylons, mockery of a certain hopeless mutual acquaintance (bless his pink-socked soul), silliness involving nuns/the Queen/Harrison Ford/Hubus Querin (and the sentient crystal orchestra)... whatever it is, it's always worth it, and it's tonic for the soul. :]

5. Long walks on bright but chilly winter days. Need I say more?

6. Dolls. Well duh. It's great to finish a project, photograph it and be able to show people your vision. This is why I'm so looking forward to making a start on Schrei, cus I haven't been able to create anything new for nearly a year now and it's about to drive me bananas.

7. Time to oneself. Phew, so I spent 16... 17, maybe more years of my life being an antisocial fag; then the following 4 being a social butterfly - it's great to be around people you like, but wow it's good to get some 'me-time' in every once in a while. XD It's so hard to write with people talking in your ear! (Anti-social drawing at the dinnertable, however, is something I have practised for so long, I think I could do that upside down while people screamed at me xD)

8. The Save Book. Okay, so you may not know it, but I have a scrap book. I'm not a great scrap-booker, but this thing practically keeps me alive. It's a great book of memories, holding things from photos to concert tickets, to sweet wrappers to flyers... It's easily the most valuable thing I have ever, or will ever own.

9. Purikura. Simple. Know who your friends are, waste money in arcade machines together, and get something to show for it.

10. I'm running out of things to say, so I'm just going to list some general things that always make me smile for reasons beyond the obvious, which I'm not going to explain, but those of you who know me will understand: DJ OZMA, mittens, leopard print, fuzzy boots, gloomy bears, orange jumpsuits, pandas, lemurs, Cloverfield, RANDOM TIGER, Hugh Grant, Brian beetles, chin monsters, kimchee, Bae Yong Joon, muhi, shoes, swanboats, Heartbreak for Julia, pond-bag, ear cataracts, "bweeee", the location of Chiharu, exact representations, red scaffolding, fanta, Juka, Sister Janet, chicken noises, maibirds, watermelon, Maroon 5, floppy hats, skull print, host-baiting, zombie rasta bunny vampires, Sakaguchi Tak... oh, and Frank.

Tagging: (I don't think I know five or more people. DX)

And just cus I'm feeling sappy, wee shoutouts. <3

My two little sisters

and

, I love you both to pieces, it's been great to spend so much time with you both this year

(PS The balls are inert, and with that list, perhaps ear cataracts are the least of your worries. XD)

My Hachiko - I miss you to bits, fiend, and I can't wait to see you next weekend if not sooner <3 Am I to assume your portable communications device is deceased? XD; Whatever, we'll catch up sometime.

My one and only very favourite twin Lesbro Sir Billington Krauslugen von Deedlit <3

My wonderful, awesometastic, hilarious and ridiculously talented roommate and partner in all things involved in the Exact Representation of life :'D~ Miss woo!!! But I'll see you this week

My partner in coffee and earl grey tea related escapades. <3 Can't wait to see you in the land of the Quilted (and Mighty Armoured) Llama next month!

and

for being wonderful forum mummies 1 and 2 <3~~~

Just cus... cus... I LOVE YOU HURRICANE GUSTAV <33333

Okay, I think that's enough sopping about, back to uh... going to bed.

-Nene
xx

Great BJD Artists:

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Mood: Zest
Listening to: 99 Luft Gelogens - Gacktio Bweetel
Watching: Damien vs National Express website XD
Playing: Defeat the crystal zombie hoardes of HUBUS QUERIN
Drinking: Cooooke :]

Man the additional pylons!!

Wed Oct 8, 2008, 10:38 AM

Woo, my subscription died xD; And I can't be bothered to buy it back - I think it's a waste of money just for the thumbnails, journal CSS and DevMobile, which I can't use anyway. It made the back end of DA so much easier, but now that feature is available on all accounts, so quite frankly why bother. (But it's a good thing, cus it saves me money - without it, I would literally explode - it's such a mess back there. XD)

ANYWAY, I haven't posted in over a month, so I thought I ought to let you know a little about what's going on with me right now and why I keep posting so many random photos and not very many dolls.

Why you've only seen odd/primarily non-doll pics from me for a while

The deal is this - if you didn't already know, I've been on the road since January - I've been through Thailand, Hong Kong, Japan, Korea, San Francisco, Los Angeles, am currently in Pennsylvania, and will be leaving for Canada this weekend. 2 weeks in Canada, then I will finally set feet back on the good ol' British Isles.

When I left, I brought Scara, Miku, Grave, hide and Tak. Yoshiki caught up in February, Acchan in what, May? I don't know, but anyway, that all made my bag rather heavy, so hide, Tak, Yoshiki and Acchan have gone on ahead and are already at home. XD (I'm envious of them!) Now, I'm left with Scara, Grave and Miku.

As you probably already know, I'm currently staying with my lil sis ~hiido out here, and it's been really great

I hope to be back posting doll photos once I get back to the UK (just in time to miss Expo, ah well.); I've got so much work to do, it's crazy.

But that's where I am right now - two and a half weeks, and things will start to return to some semblance of normality. (I hope. XD) I miss my dolls, I miss my friends, I miss my family... but y'know, after 2 weeks I'll wanna be on the road again. XD Right now though, all I wanna do is go curl up in my own bed and hibernate for winter.

Current doll plans

Because you know there's always something. XD Back in... April? I dunno, way back in the year, I bought a Minimee head from a seller on DoA, because there was a doll I wanted to create.

I planned to base him on a character of mine, and he needed to be a Minimee to fit in with the more realistic-looking dolls (it was a toss-up between that and a Migidoll); but anyway, I bought the head because it was pretty and more recently I bought a body for him - both of which are waiting at home, totally untouched. XD

I am pretty much DYING to get my hands on that doll - I've got so much work to do, what with blushing and sanding and face-upping, and now I'm not even sure what character he's going to be (I've had way too long to think about this, as you can tell. XD The mold smiles a bit too much for the character I planned etc) I've whinged about this to a few people, but for the most part I'm keeping it under wraps.

I've been daydreaming about him, thinking about him, dreaming about him, TALKING IN MY SLEEP about him... so let's hope he works out good, whatever happens!

Look out for him soon: Codename:
White Fairy/Schrei

Random

OH, I got a new iPod, it's my new best friend. :'D If I could feed it treats, I would. XD; (It was so much cheaper to buy it here in the US than in the UK - £40 cheaper! Watch me take advantage of the economy.)

WHICH REMINDS ME.

The Economy

We're all screwed. The end. Icebald is on the verge of complete obliteration; Mr Brown is only guaranteeing back deposits up to £50,000, and some governments are randomly pulling 6billion out of their asses to save ailing banks - I mean, I understand that the money needs to go there to save the general population, but seriously - where is this money coming from? >_> Anyway, it doesn't really affect me at the moment as I have like 20p to my name right now, but it does concern me that I will have trouble finding a job and rebuilding my savings.

And y'know, if people like ME are discussing this... then you know it's gotta be serious. xD

Done raving

Anyway, hope you are all doing well, we're good here - Scara needs restringing once I get home (not a lot of point doing it now as I don't suppose he or the others will see much daylight in Mooseland. D:... I feel bad.)

On that note, I'm gunna go make more tea. =w=

-Nene
xxx

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A small warning to those of you considering adding me to your Watch list.

I upload a LOT of pictures at the same time. So you must be prepared to either wade through them, or however it is that you deal with them. XD

AND

If you want to use my photos for other purposes within DA, Photomanipulation, reference pics etc; I am not averse to the idea, but PLEASE contact me and just ask; I don't bite, and I'll probably be very interested to see the finished product ^^ Drop me a note or leave me a comment.

((And if I find anybody using my photos elsewhere without permission, or taking credit for my work, I will NOT be pleased >[ 'kays?))

Great BJD Artists:

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Mood: Zest
Listening to: I Feel Possessed - Crowded House
Watching: Random stuff on YT
Playing: Guitar Hero DS/Phoenix Wright
Eating: Oatmeal o_O
Drinking: Teeeaaaa~~~

It's my birthday~

Journal Entry: Sat Aug 30, 2008, 10:26 AM

Sooo, it's that time of year again...

# Happy Birthday to me,
I'm not an old lady,
I'm not yet twenty-threeee.......
But next-year I might be #

Meh. I have four cards and cake. Cake is important.

In the wise words of DJ OZMA: "It'll be just like any other day... but with cake!"

~hori

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A small warning to those of you considering adding me to your Watch list.

Great BJD Artists:

45 Comments

Mood: Zest
Listening to: BOM-BA-YE - DJ OZMA
Reading: Making Money - T Pratchett
Watching: Russell Brand live
Playing: Pokemon Dash//Yoshi's Island DS
Eating: Cake
Drinking: Teeeaaaa~~~

Stupid stuff and MaiMero~

Journal Entry: Tue Jul 22, 2008, 5:18 AM

Okay, that's it. XD That's one too many people who've tried to second-guess my taste in music and totally missed the mark.

So, because I can tell you're all dying to know (yes, that was sarcasm); I'm making a list of my most-listened to artists at the moment.

(Without the aid of my iPod, who's opinion I'm not sure I entirely agree with.)

GReeeeN
WOW, happy music. XD I've been loving these guys since January, and they certainly don't seem to be getting any worse with the release of their second full album last month. Or was it this month? Whaaaatever. 8D Favourites are: MISS YOU, High G K Low and PARIPIPO. (High G.K. Low - [link])

ケツメイシ [ketsumeishi]
I always remember one of our neighbours singing a ketsumeishi song when we randomly went to karaoke together at 3am once a few years ago. It's one of those great summer songs that's stuck with me forever. Their latest album, Ketsunopolis 6 is... well, it's a mixture of styles from all over the world, and as such it's a very interesting listen. Favourites are: Carnival, さくら [sakura] and Nagare. (さくら [sakura] - [link])

BUCK-TICK [... buttock?? XD]
B-T's most recent album literally blew my head off with awesome, and I still haven't stopped listening to it almost constantly since last September. They've always had the skill to absolutely blow my mind, and their constantly evolving style and delicious lyrics just keep getting better and better. Useless trivia: They released their first single a month and a half after I was born. XD; Favourites are: 夢魔 [Muma] -the Nightmare-, REVOLVER, Cream Soda, 月世界 [gessekai], Maria, love letter, Kick (大地をける男 -daichi wo keru otoko-), Cosmos, Zangai, Nakayubi AD INFINUM. (夢魔 -the Nightmare- [live] - [link])

DJ OZMA
Yep, you knew this was coming. XD One of the most entertaining bands of 2006, they continue to amuse. I have to admit, some of the music is a bit... uh... hm... in first listen, but the brains ticking away behind it all make them well-worth the attention. Favourites are: MY WAY, アゲ♂アゲ♂EVERY☆騎士 [age-age every night], 疾風迅雷～命BOM-BA-YE～[shippujinrai ~inochiBOM-BA-YE~] (アゲ♂アゲ♂EVERY☆騎士 [age-age every night] - [link])

abingdon boys school
Okay, so I have this Hate-Hate relationship with Mr Nishikawa's voice, but man, almost every single a.b.s. song has struck a chord with me - particularly the covers of older songs. These guys have a real understanding of what music is all about - something I never thought I'd find myself saying about anything that involved TM Revolution. XP Favourites are: Dress (B-T cover), Sweetest Coma Again (LS cover), AS ONE and Desert Rose. (HOWLING - [link])

James Blunt
.............. How embarassing. Yes, this man is my guilty pleasure, and you can all feck off if you wanna say something about it. XD The man could do with some hormone therapy and a shave, but his lyrics are very pretty. Favourites are: Carry You Home, Annie, Tears and Rain. (We'll skip this one. XD)

Yoshii Lovinson
I hated the Yellow Monkey with a passion, but after hearing this guy's solo work, perhaps I was wrong - pretty much all his stuff is very strong and very good. My favourites are CALL ME, Rainbow, Bakka and the ridiculously titled Do the Flippin'. (Can't find anything T^T)

KinKi Kids and Tackey&Spastic... I mean... Tsubasa.
Like many of my contemporaries, I have a fondness for one or two Johnny's bands - namely these two. I tried to pretend I liked T&T becuase they were pretty, but neither of them realy do it for me, I have to regretfully admit that it is the music I enjoy. DX... Favourite KK songs are: 僕の背中には羽がある[boku no senaka ni wa hane ga aru], 永遠のBLOODS[eien no BLOODS], and Hey!みんな元気かぃ？[Hey! Minna genki kai?]. Favourite TT songs are: SAMURAI, HIMEGOTO and 仮面 [kamen]. (Kinki Kids - 硝子の少年 [Garasu no Shounen] - [link])

Maroon 5
Ohhh yes. 'She Will Be Loved' wormed its way into my heart over a period of time, and when I found myself in a hotel room feeling utterly wretched, like I was the only person left alive in the world, I turned on the radio, and that song started playing, reminding me that tomorrow was coming soon and I wasn't the last human on earth. After that, I had no choice but to buy the album.

Favourites are: Wasted Years, Sun and Wake Up Call. (None here, because... well. Long story, don't ask. XD)

monoral
I never expected to enjoy monoral - I was never particularly apprecative of FAKE?, and always thought monoral would be similar, but I was wrong. Everything on Turbulence was just as good as I'd hoped it would be. Favourites are: Visions in My Head, Sparta, Wash and This Band Has Not Begun. (Tuesday - [link])

I like some of the old school VK lads who transcended the genre - Janne Da Arc, L'arc~en~Ciel, LaCryma Christi and ISSAY, as well as a few jokey rock bands like DUSTAR-III, SexMachineguns, S.O.A.P, R*A*P and Kishidan; and a few lads who take themselves far too seriously like TRAX, SADS, Zigzo and Kobukuro. What else... Chirolyn and the Angels, Bump of Chicken, Sarah Brightman, Denki Groove, acid android, Linkin Park, Lucy, Mew, Peter Gabriel, Spitz, thee michelle gun elephant. I also listen to an obscene amount of Daigo Stardust, but that's not to say I enjoy most of it. XD Oh yeah, and some group of old dudes who call themselves 'X', or something? Yeah, them too. xD

I've just started listening to Maximum the Hormone, and they are actually a lot better than expected. XD I'm currently completely addicted to THE THREE's 裏切り御免 [uragiri gomen] ([link]) - a song that awesome should probably not be allowed.

For the record: the day Gazette, Alice Nine or Nightmare appear in my top three, or in fact ANYWHERE in my playlist, that is the day I have been invaded by alien bodysnatchers from Mars, or indeed anywhere else.

In other news....... I made a brand spanking new DA account for my art, and I was going to post it up here, but apparently I am too shy, as my artwork is significantly worse than my photography. =X; So uhm... well... x3x;; *phail*

ANYWAY, that was that, and if you bothered to read it, well done you, because I wouldn't have bothered.

(But then we all know how lazy I am >___>;;...)

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